Saturday, September 22, 2012

Interesting

I was mining my facebook account for comedy and I found two great lists. Things men should never do to women and things women should never do to men.

They should glue these lists to kids in eigth grade.




18 things girls should never do to guys

1)Play him: guys have emotions too. and girls can be just as big of players as guys.

2)Not pay attention: When guys are willing to open up their hearts for you, don’t go off with the “omg i know exactly what you mean blah blah (insert your own personal story)”. it means that you’re important to him.

3)Don’t hook up with o...
ther guys that he knows: He’ll get really jealous, even if he doesn’t like you. if you talk to him regularly, don’t do anything you’ll regret, he’ll resent you for it.

4)Deny his kindness: If he wants to hold doors open for you, pay for you, even carry you when your feet hurt, don’t tell him no. If he likes you, he’ll do so many things for you if you just let him.

5)Deny your beauty: Don’t call yourself ugly in front of him, whether it be because you want a compliment or you actually believe it. if he says you’re beautiful, believe it. That’s how you are to him. and if you want a compliment, all you have to do is hug him, or look at him in the eyes, and you shall get your tales of self beauty from him.

6)Let him go: When you find a guy you like, don’t let him go. if he seems like he’s worth it to you, go for it. chances are you’ll have the time of your life with him, even if it doesn’t last forever.

7)Vent to him and not expect him to like you: Don’t open your hearts, cry to him, run to him for support, or vent to him in any way if you don’t want him to like you. it’ll happen.

8)Don’t treat him like other guys: He’s not a typical guy if he treats you like a princess.

9)Tell him to stay away from the people he loves: Yes, he might be friends with other girls, but if they’re his best friend since he was little, don’t tell him to leave her.

10)Don’t treat him differently in person than through messaging: Don’t go around texting him like you’re in love and he’s your bff, and when you see him in person you say hi once, and leave. it’s fucked up and it confuses him.

11)Don’t not accept his compliments: It’s kinda repeated, but when you say “ew, no i’m ugly”, it makes him feel like he’s doing a bad job at caring for you.

12)DON’T BE AFRAID TO KISS HIM FIRST: IF YOU FEEL THE FING MOMENT IS RIGHT, KISS HIM. HE MIGHT BE TOO NERVOUS.

13)Don’t be afraid to let him ** ***: If a guy wants to “*** *** ***” don’t say no, most of the time he wants to pleasure you without receiving anything in return.

14)Don’t point out his flaws either: If you say “oh look, you have some fat here!” or, “it sucks that you don’t have definition on your arms” it might hurt his feelings, instead try constructive criticism by inviting him to go jogging, or workout with you; bonus fact, activities together are bonding experiences.

15) Don’t make it a contest to see who loves each other more: He doesn’t want to lose, but if he wins he feels like an ass. lose-lose either way, so don’t do it.

16)Don’t act like he’s a robot: He’s human, he cries, he screams, he can feel physical and emotional pain, he has limits and he can only control so much. don’t push him.

17)Don’t be afraid to go on adventures with him: He’ll protect you as much as he can, so don’t worry to wander off, it usually ends up being the time of your life.

18) EVERY GUY MASTURBATES. DON’T JUDGE HIM: Every guy does it, at some point, no matter who they are, they will reach a moment in their lives where they do. so don’t make fun of him, he’s thinking of fun things to do with you, so put his free hand on your wrist and walk yourself back into a wall, rest assured he’ll stop masturbating.

P.S.) if he says he loves you, and he’s not a tool or drunk or high, It’s true.

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